I'm not going to lie to you folks, tonight's fight is a doozy. In one corner stands our challenger, a hunk of the finest, super-healthy beef liver this side of the Rockies (which are like 5500 miles from here as the crow flies, so that's saying a lot). And hulking in the other corner is our champion, a four-year-old with a cast iron will and a penchant for foods he shouldn't be eating. Refereeing tonight will be Daddy, who is rumored to be heavily sympathetic with the challenger.
OK, folks, let's get READY TO A RUUHUUUMBLE!!!!!!!!!
Here's our challenger, sliced up and marinated for 24 hours in pickle juice and some chilli sauce. He claims that makes him less 'livery' and helps break down his opponents defenses.
And here's our champ
What is there to say, Bob? This guy rarely loses a fight. Just ask his parents.
CHILD VS LIVER ROUND 1
Liver and bacon. Everyone loves bacon, right? Well of course they do.
The problem is they might just eat the bacon.
Round 1: Child 1 Liver 0
CHILD VS LIVER ROUND 2
Sure the challenger is discouraged (not to mention the referee) but he's still got a few tricks up his proverbial sleeve. Like breading:
Out of eggs so the improvised batter/breading consisted of cream and semolina/flour/herb salt.
Liver in fighting form.
Round 2: Child 0 Liver 1. Liver wins by decision.
Fortunately round three, liver coated with chocolate and sprinkles, wasn't necessary.