Saturday, December 04, 2010
My Near Death Experience
I don't consider myself even close to being a hypochondriac. Sure, I'm no stoic. I'm always whingeing about DOMS to my wife whose pain threshold exceeds mine by many orders of magnitude. She gave birth to our kid without any painkillers and I start sobbing when I stub my toe (to be fair I have really long, delicate toes).
My wife had the temerity to go on a four-day skiing weekend, leaving me in sole charge of the kid. Skiing is something to do with snow that Europeans consider to be ecstatically joyfull. I think it is torture.
But I digress.
Liam woke me up about 5 with a bad dream, he was able to go back to sleep but I was up for the duration, so I made some coffee, a lot of coffee, and drank it. I also woke up with some tingling in my left arm that persisted all morning. After a while I'm feeling light-headed, really light-headed and dizzy. So I Google 'tingling left arm' and up comes possible stroke.
A couple years ago a good friend of mine in his mid-forties had a very serious stroke. This guy was a lawyer with his own firm who got up at four in the morning to exercise with his personal trainer. Pretty intense dude (although he didn't come across that way). Who knows what factors stress and genetics play into all of this, but it was pretty shocking for everyone who knew him. The guy was a cliché for what a man ought to look at his age.
If he could be cut down in his prime what chance do any of us have?
Fast-forward to me with the tingling arm and the dizziness. Oh shit, it is all catching up with me now, I'm never going to see my adorable kid grow up, he's going to be scarred for life seeing his daddy keel over in front of him and forced to bang on the neighbors' doors screaming, "My daddy's a vegetable, and not the healthy kind".
Fixed some scrambled eggs and felt a bit better.
I was really scared at this point, convinced I'd suffered a mini-stroke, actually balancing on one foot to test myself, trying to figure out which part of my brain had taken the hit.
Finally decided to check my urine ketones and the strip was deep, deep purple. I'd apparently been suffering some extremely low brain glucose which had left me dizzy as hell, probably caused by all the coffee and the fact that I see-saw in and out of lipolysis drinking white wine and other such travesties. The tingling arm was just poorly slept upon.
The fear that had been squeezing my heart in a vise melted away. I wasn't teetering on the edge of oblivion, about to leave my kid with some traumatic memories, I was just suffering from a crappy gear change brought on by my own laziness.